Life is one of those things that so many of us take for granted. Little do we realize how precious it is until you have someone taken away from you. Someone that you cared about deeply, whether it is a friend that you haven’t seen in forever, or someone in your immediate family, the impact, although different, can evoke some of the same responses in your attitude towards life itself. It can be so hard for us to deal with the difficulties in losing someone, especially if they were too young and had their whole lives ahead of them. What can we learn in dealing with losing someone we love?
We All Process Things Differently
It’s funny, those people you haven’t seen in a long time, but you hear of their passing, some people are surprised by the fact that you care so much. But another person can be very blasé about it and think that it’s just one of those things that happens. Whatever your perspective on losing someone, it’s important to focus on your ability to process information. It’s strange if you have someone else imposing their own specific attitudes to the subject on to you, which doesn’t help, especially if you don’t know the person making judgement. Dealing with any sort of loss can be helped with understanding what made them so special to you and this will help to process the news.
Don’t Dwell On The Circumstances
Yes, it’s easier said than done, but if you’ve lost someone your own age, and they had their whole life ahead of them. Or maybe they were just starting out on that wonderful journey and had a young family, it can be a very sad thing to think about if they were taken away suddenly. It always feels like it’s one of those things that doesn’t happen to people within your remit, but these things happen all of the time. Whether it is car accidents or illness, these things are, unfortunately, all too common now. Depending on the circumstances, for example, if you were party to an accident, it can feel like you need to chase justice to help preserve their memory. Yes, there are many thousands of law firms on this planet but help with this sort of thing, Craig Swapp is one such firm that deals with car accidents. The very hard thing, if you decide to go down this route of pursuing justice and retribution, is that it may require you to go through the details of the accident itself. This is, essentially, reliving the incident. And sometimes it can be too soon to go through the legalities of achieving justice, which is why it’s important at the outset to understand your own processes in relation to grief and losing someone you care about.
Be There For Their Loved Ones
Losing a friend is hard enough on you, but you can’t begin to imagine what’s the family are going through. We all have an idea, of course, but what may feel very raw for you will be a million times worse for them. No doubt they will have many people offering their love, support, and condolences, but there will be so few people physically lending a hand. This is your opportunity to do something that will really help them. This could be something as simple as basic errands. They will appreciate any gesture, no matter how little it is. They are going to have difficulty functioning, especially so soon after the event. But know your boundaries, you are a friend of the person, but you are not a family member. It’s important to differentiate between the two.
Look After Yourself
Making sure that you are functioning okay is also something to be mindful of. You may have problems sleeping, or you may feel overwhelmingly sad. You, as a friend, still need to do the day-to-day dealings you did before. And this is why in a working environment, or social environment, you can feel somewhat unfocused. Unfortunately, unless you have the luxury of taking time off or a very understanding employer, you will need to batten down the hatches and carry on. But remember, dwelling too much on this type of circumstances can be very bad for you. In this respect, work is a very important approach to keeping a level head on. It may dominate your thoughts, especially if this is the first person you’ve lost in your life, but you do need to keep pushing on. Life doesn’t stop. Depending on your own coping mechanisms, you may very well be better off doing what you did before, and this helps to give you a sense of structure.
Time is Precious
For all the tragedy, you can find the good in this type of situation. Not in a literal sense, but the idea of death is very beneficial in some ways because it makes us reassess what is important to us. This could mean your family members, figuring out who your friends really are, but also it makes you think about what you are really doing with your life. Time is a precious thing, no matter how old or young you feel. Yes, the circumstances are very sad, but because you have the benefits of perspective on the situation now, it will give you that renewed attitude and zest towards living a life with purpose. It can feel a bit insensitive to say that life goes on, but it does. It depends on what your definition of the word “life” really is.
Loss is a big part of life, and with every time we lose someone, we understand that little bit more about how we can make the most of our days on this planet. Losing someone, regardless of how close we are (or are not) to them always makes you think about your own attitude towards the concept of living. You only have one life, so you should make the most of it. We all struggle from time to time in the modern world, and we all cope with things differently. But in losing someone that you care so much about, it makes you learn a lot more about yourself also.
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