As we get older, we become more and more aware of the fact that life has its awkward moments. Most of us, when filled with the enthusiastic naivete of youth, will ask questions about taboo subjects. The reaction that this gets either makes us avoid those topics in future, or ask even more. As we get older, and (hopefully) social skills kick in, we know which topics to avoid.
This means that, the older we get, the less likely we are to have certain conversations that we maybe really need to have. There is a tendency to not want to make a scene. It’s even a running joke in a lot of TV shows. The stern matriarch or patriarch who doesn’t say “I love you” to their kids (even though they obviously do). That comes from our adult reluctance to broach emotional subjects. And we’re the poorer for that.
The fact is, as we get older, there are conversations we need to have. By definition, the older you get, the closer you are to death. And bear in mind that even typing that sentence isn’t easy because, although it happens to all of us, we have become skilled at tuning it out.
When Are We Unable To Look After Ourselves?
A conversation that all senior citizens need to have with their adult children is the one about later-life care. Many elderly couples live alone together, possibly near to their families but maybe not. In almost all cases, one of the couple will die first. What happens then? Does the widowed partner move in with their kids, or into a house close to them? Do they go into residential care, with open visiting hours?
This is a conversation that needs to be had, but is like a stick of dynamite. How do you say the things that need to be said? How does an adult child say “I don’t know if I can give you the care you’ll need”? How does a retired parent say “I’d rather stay where I am”? Some childish ignorance of social norms would be useful right now.
How Do We Raise The Issue Of Mortality?
In any just world, parents will not outlive their children. No parent wants to face the idea of being around to see their child pass, whatever their age. Equally, no child really wants to think about the loss of their parents. But it is something that, all things being equal, will happen.
As we get older, what matters most seems to crystalize and we are almost back in our infancy with regard to sensitive topics. We know we don’t have forever to talk about what happens when we’re gone. The hardest part for a senior can be getting their kids to face it. Responses like “I don’t want to talk about this, you’re not going anywhere soon” are common.
If you’re thinking about this concern, it’s worth raising it in a practical manner. Of course kids don’t want to think about their parents’ mortality, but it doesn’t have to be in the context of it being imminent. Hopefully no-one’s going anywhere soon, which makes now the best time to sort it out. With that fixed, the issue of death sorted out, you can focus on living for a lot longer.
Pinning Down Financial Aspects
In the aftermath of a death, those left behind have the unenviable task of arranging a funeral. And studies show that the costs can easily break five figures for a relatively simple burial. Even if you haven’t had life insurance up until now, it’s still something that can be taken out. Checking details with lifeinsuranceforseniorsover80.com and similar can give you important information.
What this will allow is the chance to save some money against the costs of a future ceremony. You can make the decision for how much you want a policy to be worth, and pay towards it monthly. Even if your kids resolutely don’t want to talk about it, you will be able to say “Okay, let’s not. But just know that this is provided for”. You can then show them that they won’t have to worry about that aspect of things. If you’re the kid here, meet any willingness to talk about the subject with appreciation. It’s not easy for anyone, but it is important.
It’s never a favorite topic of conversation among parents and children. That’s particularly the case when both parent and child are old enough to understand the issues and young enough for them not to be imminent. But dealing with what happens as you get older is something that needs to be done. And that being the case, should we all not take a page from the book of impetuous childhood?
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