The Mask of Confidence

We all want to be more confident, yet often people confuse true confidence with the outer appearance of confidence.  Indeed, many people put on a confident front in order to mask their deeper insecurity – sometimes not even realizing they are doing this, or mistaking the outward impression of confidence for inner confidence.

See, the outwardly confident person knows how to ‘play the game’ they understand the importance of eye contact, for instance, and have conditioned themselves to hold eye contact in order to build rapport and stand their ground in social situations… yet, often these people are hyper-vigilant or anxious to make a good impression, whereas, the person with inner confidence tends to feel secure in themselves to the point the opinion others have of them doesn’t really matter.

The perfect example to picture the mask of confidence, is to think of an actor or actress – often bubbly and extroverted on the inside, yet deep down, often somewhat fragile and unsure of themselves.

The mask of confidence some people put up in order to hide their inner insecurity can be likened to wearing mineral makeup; the person is still being themselves, only they are enhancing certain features and trying to conceal others.  

Also, just like how there’s nothing wrong with wearing makeup, there’s also nothing wrong with wearing a mask of confidence, indeed it can be a very positive thing, but it’s important we realize and appreciate the fact that someone presenting an outwardly confident appearance does not always mean they are secure on the inside.

Here’s three tips on how to develop inner confidence:

1.  Accept Yourself

We could all do with accepting ourselves, and loving ourselves for who we are, a little more.  Self acceptance is a tough area for most people as we tend to focus on the things we would like to change about ourselves rather than what we appreciate about ourselves.

This is particularly true when it comes to our bodies.  The first step to having more confidence, however, is to accept yourself for who and how you are.

2.  Make the Most of Your Unique Situation

We all have things we could be embarrassed about, so it’s about dealing with these things in a productive way, for instance, finding the best postpartum underwear can increase your feel of assuredness and day to day confidence after having a child.  

Similarly, if you are overweight, you want to wear clothes that compliment your shape rather than live in a place of comparison where you feel bad about yourself due to being overweight.

3.  Get Better

There’s an idea that people are insecure for a reason, for instance, if someone is uncomfortable with being overweight, in addition to accepting themselves and making the most of their situation there are practical steps that person can take.  In going to the gym, and getting fitter, for instance this is going to immediately raise that person’s self esteem and level of confidence because the feeling of making progress is what builds confidence like nothing else.oi