Would You Trade Your IQ for Bigger Boobs?

Would you trade your current IQ for bigger boobs? Apparently, one-third of women ages 18-25 said they would.

A study conducted by a marketing company in the U.K. also reported recently that 41 percent of women this age would choose big boobs over a high IQ.

Furthermore, 57 percent of the young women surveyed believed that men are more interested in big boobs than big brains, and that this assumption was what influenced their desire to have them.

As the mother of a 19-year-old daughter, my first impulse about these statistics was very righteous and appropriate. Ridiculous! Sad! What is this world coming to? That type of thing.

Then I remembered me at 18. I’m sure I sent plenty of prayers to the heavens for larger breasts during that era. Nothing fancy, just the kind of rack that could shelter kindergartners at the bus stop. And if that also helped me snag a man? So much the better.

[ Also see: Great Racks Available . . . Off the Rack ]

I’d like to think, at age 38, that I’d answer more intelligently, but I have a whole drawer of push-up bras that suggests otherwise. I’d like to say I’ve won some valiant battle over my sometimes dismal body image, but most days I’m just one Groupon away from my first Botox appointment.

I’d also like to say something super-empowering to these younger women about how intelligence is valued over sex appeal in “the real world,” but I’m not sure how I would back that up. Women still make only 80-90 cents for each dollar men earn, all IQs and educations being equal. Would they make more if they had bigger boobs? Some studies suggest that they would.

So, I don’t think these young women are shallow for wanting what they want. But I do feel an obligation to put forth my best argument in favor of intelligence.

Would I trade my current IQ for bigger boobs? Absolutely not. Why? Big boobs are for other people. Intelligence is mine.

If I gave it up, I’d have to get to rid of a room full of lovely old books with dog-eared pages that have brought me more joy, more hours of friendship and conversation, and more insight than big boobs ever would have. I would have to trade away my career, my writing, and a mate who is confident enough in his own intelligence to know that smart chicks are hawt.

Would I trade big boobs for a high IQ? Firstly, the question assumes the answerer doesn’t already possess a high IQ and/or big boobs, which I find really annoying. Secondly: Of course not. Among a million other benefits, a higher IQ would help me tip the scales on that aforementioned wage disparity. If after making more than my male counterparts make for working the same job, I still find that I want bigger boobs . . . I can probably go ahead and buy them.

Do I believe that men are more interested in large-breasts than intelligence?

No. No. A thousand times no. We short-change men on this point constantly. I don’t spend a lot of time with college-aged men (not that I’m against it) but I do know plenty of men in my own age range, and if you think that’s how they operate, then I’m insulted on their behalf. Any single guy who only cares about big boobs is already living with one.

So let’s stop asking young women about their boobs and instead start asking them what kind of life they want. Let’s stop making them think they have to trade looks for intelligence or intelligence for the right kind of man or the right kind of man for the right kind of life.

Let’s instead ask, “Would you trade happiness and personal growth just to win a mate who can’t see past your chest?” Because that’s the real question, and that’s the real trade.

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Caroline Burau is a freelance writer in White Bear Lake, Minnesota, and author of Sugarfiend and Answering 911: Life in the Hot Seat. You can also follow her on Twitter (@carolineburau).